The following is a very basic OVERVIEW of Our Ranking Method — the way Eddie Varese & Company have chosen to answer the vital question:
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Who Are the 25 Greatest Rock ‘N Roll Bands of All Time?
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Here’s the Law, folks –
In order to rank the “Greatness” of rock bands with intelligence, enthusiasm, and specificity, you must obey the following commandments:
1} Thou shalt follow the Golden Rules of Rock Appreciation.
2} Thou shalt listen to the music and have a great time doing it!
3} Thou shalt apply the “Elemental” Scoring System and tell us how it goes!
This all takes time – it takes heart – and, friends, it takes a special thirst for rock ‘n roll … Have you got it?
Are you with me?
Then join me and my lovely readers as we tackle the tits off this hoss!
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PHASE ONE:
Phase One is all about following the Golden Rules of Rock Appreciation.
[Check out Post #4: The Golden Rules - or the "Golden Rules" page, above.]
Golden Rule #1:
You may not rank one band higher than another …
… until you’ve HEARD THE TUNES.
Golden Rule #2:
When listening to the songs …
… you must bring RESPECT and ENTHUSIASM.
Golden Rule #3:
Pay attention to CONTEXT!
Golden Rule #4:
Pay attention to CHRONOLOGY!
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SO:
LISTEN. RESPECT. CONTEXT. CHRONOLOGY.
Got it?
Great!
On to the Scoring/Ranking Method.
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HOW TO MAKE THE RANK
You’ve listened to all the albums and songs by two separate bands, you’ve learned about them, you’ve lived them, and love them both …
And now it’s time to see who ranks higher, who’s the “Greater” rock band.
Here’s whatcha do:
Pull out the ELEMENTS –
And score each band AGAINST EACH OTHER, rating both in every category.
Want a quick view of the Elements?
Here:
ELEMENTS
Albums: Sales – 1-10 points
Albums: Critical Appreciation – 1-10 points
Albums: The Overall Catalogue – Edge, 5 points to the winner
Singles: The Charts – 1-10 points
Singles: Social Imprint – 1-8 points
Greatest Hits Collection – Edge, 5 points to the winner
Live Performance – 1-10 points
Musicianship: Virtuosity – 1-8 points
Musicianship: Alchemy – 1-8 points
Musicianship: Versatility – 1-8 points
Innovation – 1-10 points
Individuality – 1-10 points
Influence – 1-10 points
Icon Status: Symbols and Players – 1-10 points
Icon Status: The Frontmen – 1-10 points
Quality Per Release – 1-8 points
Quality Over Time — 1-8 points
Lineup Consistency – 1-8 points
Longevity – 1-8 points
Replayability – 1-8 points
Cross-Gender Love – 1-8 points
The Gift Factor – 1-8 points
The Bar Test – 1-5 points
The Road Trip – 1-5 points
Impact Outside of Music – 1-10 points
Essence of Rock ‘N Roll — 1-8 points
The Resonant Story — 1-8 points
Your Personal Opinion: Who Is “Greater”? – Edge, 10 points for winner
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So, you’ve scored both bands to the best of your ability? Think you got it close?
Magnificent.
Take a look at your results:
Does one band seriously outscore the other?
If so…
They’re probably the Greater Rock Band.
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BUT!
What if it’s very close … and you’re not cozy with it?
Well, here’s what we all have to accept:
No scoring system is perfect.
If Band A outscores Band B, and you don’t think it “smells right”…
Then take a closer look.
Start a discussion with friends.
Write us here on the site.
And let’s get it on, my brothers and sisters!
THAT’S THE WHOLE EFFIN’ POINT.
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This isn’t going to be easy, and it isn’t going to be fast.
We’re working together for accountability and accuracy, folks. That’s why we’re here, that’s why it’s a “PUBLIC” conversation, and not my private whimsy.
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And remember:
This isn’t a determination of who’s “BETTER” or who’s “YOUR FAVORITE.”
It’s about GREATNESS.
[See Post #2: Parameters, if you have any confusion on Greatness.]
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You probably have more questions than when you started.
Fine and dandy!
As always, Eddie wants to know what’s on your mind.
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Elements we haven’t thought of?
Improvements on the scoring system?
Bands that missed our eye?
General urgent need to talk rock ‘n roll?!?!
We’re here for you.
BRING IT ALL, KIDS!
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Welcome to the party, my friend.
This is Eddie Varese, telling you to turn it on, and turn it up.
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